Squash parents – 10 tips on what you can do

Squash Parents: 10 Ways They Can Help Out Coaches

Coaching squash should be relatively straight forward: coaches coach; players play, parents parent.

Not all that complicated really – just three groups of people working together to achieve a common goal – to help a player realise their full potential.

So why is it that so many coaches will tell you that their biggest challenge is not finding court space or identifying talented squash players or being able to buy the latest and greatest squash training equipment’s, bur working with difficult and sometimes destructive squash parents?

Squash Parents: 10 Ways They Can Help Out Coaches

1. Don’t Do Everything For the Kids

Confidence is the essential ingredient in all great squash success stories. Confidence comes from knowing: i.e. knowing you can do it. Squash parents think they’re helping by doing all the little things for their kids but the parents who pack their child’s squash bag, empty it for them, make their breakfast, carry their squash kit, fill their water bottles etc. are doing the exact opposite. They are creating dependent players – instead of independent young people and that’s not going to result in developing teenagers who possess a strong sense of confidence, self-belief, resilience and self-reliance.

2. Do Not Coach Their Kids in Technical Areas.

Coaches coach. Parents parent. That’s it. It’s that simple.

Coaches help players develop things like physical skills, technical skills, serves, drives, boasts , split steps, lunges – all that stuff.

Squash parents help their children learn values and virtues and help their children to develop the positive character traits that will sustain them throughout their lives.

If everyone stays focused on doing their job well – everyone wins – particularly the player.

3. Don’t Listen To Other Parents

Squash parents listening to other squash parents about technical issues really annoys coaches. For example: “My friend, Susie, whose child plays at another program told me that they do a lot more serves than we do. Can we start doing a lot more serves?” Coaches spend years learning how to write programs, how to enhance squash skills, how to improve stroke technique and how to build an effective training environment.

Unless “Susie” has the same skills, experience, knowledge and commitment to coaching, it is unlikely her opinions on technical matters are as valid as the coach’s.

Sitting on the side of another court, watching training from a distance (and let’s face it – parents only really watch their own child anyway), then making assumptions to apply to all players at all programs is so ludicrous it is incredible that it happens at all.

Yet – for some reason – some squash parents find it necessary to listen to the views of people who have no idea what they’re talking about rather than have faith and trust in their child’s highly trained and experienced professional coach.

4. Avoid Gossip

Want to know why squash parents are banned from so many centres around the world – Gossip.

Coaches hate those little groups of squash parents who sit together comparing “John’s forehand technique” to “Mary’s forehand technique” and then criticize the coach because neither child plays as well as Ali Farag, even though they’re only eleven years old and train once a month.

Got a problem with the coach – go to the source and talk to the coach – not to other squash parents.

5. Talk Non-Squash With Their Kids

We all love this sport. But it’s just a sport. There are movies, art, music, politics, literature, theatre, other sports, rest time, going to the beach, hiking, learning another language…..the world is full of millions of wonderful experiences and children need the opportunity to be exposed to as many of them as possible.

There is no need to talk squash all the time. All it will do it increase the likelihood that the child will walk away from the sport in their mid teens and frankly – this “teenage retirement” syndrome is a worldwide sports epidemic that we all have to work together and try to stop.

6. Be Realistic With Results

No one wins every time they play.

No one. Re-read this line 10 times. No one.

Coaches cringe when squash parents approach them saying “Steve didn’t win his match today – what’s wrong? What’s the problem?”

The child might have done five hockey / netball practices through the week and sat for four school exams but because they didn’t win one match, there’s a problem?!

Trust in the coach to do his or her job.

7. Gradual Development Is Fine.

Coaches design and develop their program structures with a lot of thought, research and experience behind it. This long-term development pathway concept has its roots in mainstream education.

For example, children aged 5 are introduced to basic mathematics at school.  When they turn 8 years of age, they are exposed to long division. When they’re 15 they can do trigonometry, calculus and advanced geometry. Similarly, there’s a logical, purposeful process of developing athletes from learning to hit their first shot to being able to win a national squash title.

Squash parents who try to force coaches to push their kids ahead to the next level of development before they’re ready, are not helping the child (or the coach).

8. No Match Instructions.

Just don’t do it. No need to comment further on this – just don’t.

9. Quality Performances Should Not Equate to Better Treatment.

This happens everywhere in the world and for some reason some squash parents just don’t get it.

Child wins – love them with all your heart.

Child loses – love them with all your heart.

Child wins a big one  – love and support them unconditionally.

Child doesn’t win for 6 months – love and support them unconditionally.

How well a child plays (or how poorly a child plays) should have no bearing on how they are treated, spoken to or loved. When it comes to loving and supporting your child – particularly in public – winning and losing make no difference.

10. Don’t Disturb Coach On the Court

There’s a really good reason why coaches don’t like this. The coach is there for all the players and his time is focussed on all the players.

Put it another way, if another squash parent was talking with the coach on court during workout and that meant your own child’s time was compromised, how would you feel?

When coaches, players and squash parents work together as partners in performance – 100% committed and focused on helping the player to realise their full potential, amazing – incredible things are not only possible – but inevitable.

A positive, constructive, successful squash program is very possible when players, coaches and squash parents work together honestly, respectfully and with integrity.

Wayne Goldsmith